| i'm not the real super dragon so dont im me asking me if i'm fuckin SD, k thx |
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| Super way Long Final LJ entry |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|07:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Miami | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bouncing Souls | ] |
It’s taken me awhile to come up with a proper closing, but I think this will suffice. I’m not leaving lj for myspace, so let me make that clear. I still enjoy writing and will continue do so, but just for personal amusement. Like some of the great authors of our time whose work was only discovered once they died. Yet people won’t care about my radical blogs and interesting tidbits when I die. Nope, cause when I die people will be focused on attending a scavenger hunt which will lead them to the gift I have in mind for them in my will. Hopefully, my attorney will not keep the clever treasure maps I will have hopefully designed by then to him/her self. Perhaps maps will even be assigned to my enemies and lead them to a ditch or even better the question mark house (for those unfamiliar it’s a house in the Brownsville area of Miami with question marks spray painted all over it). Geez if I’m good at anything it’s getting off track.
Anyways, the internet has assisted me in meeting some great people, finding out important information without having to go to a library (meaning no interaction needed with geek kind), and well porn (no need to go to pleasure emporium II and wait behind Alonzo Mourning in line). It’s like that friend that’s always there for you and also gets you into trouble. Basically, the internet is Kimmy Gibler.
Monday afternoon I recieved a call from a friend asking me if I've been watching VH1 lately. Pretty dumb question since I would never miss an episode of Hogan Knows Best. Then he went on to ask me if I saw the commercial for the porn convention in Miami Beach "EXXXOTICA" and I knew where this was heading. I told him I'd get back to him to see if I'd go with him or not. Asked a few people on their thoughts and they all said to go for it. It's not exactly a once in a life time thing, but who really knows when I'll have this oppertunity to go to something like this again?
I know what you're thinking though, I mean if there are anything two things in this world that don't go together it's Julio and Pornography. I just had to step into an element that I'm completely unfamiliar with. Second we're by the Miami Beach Convention Center we see some dudes around our age in the parking lot, cept they were chanting "porno! porno! porno!" I guess they were hyped for this; couldn't help but to join in on their little chant to get in the EXXXOTICA spirit.
Surprisingly not as many mega aggro crag nerds wanting to take pics with their favorite porn stars to add to their myspace and appear rad were there. The crowd was fairly normal peeps, you had your south beach faux suave, few country bumpkins, and not a lot of the mesh wearing fanny pack carrying folks. Just normal dudes and a good number of chicks too.
First thing I noticed when I got in was what I thought was a naked dude, so I dashed to take a pic with him, but to no avail it was a manequin :(
Funny note after I took that pic about 10 other dudes took pics next to it some even grabbing the dinger of the manequin. Leave it to me to do something radtastic and have abunch of clowns copy it and take it to an unnecessary fake cock grabbing level.
Then early on, we came across the stud of all studs, the hunk of all hunks, the dream boat that never stops sailing, from the hit movie FROM GAY TO Z ANTONIO F'N RAFAEL.
You have the right to remain jealous.
Then I met some Jeremy guy, I think he was in the Surreal Life. Not exactly sure who he is.
I'll just let this pic do the talk for itself.
My only real complaint at the show was they had a bull riding deal set up, but only local chicks can ride it.
1. YOU CANT USE BOTH HANDS DUH
2. YOU CANT HAVE TWO PEOPLE RIDING ON IT AT THE SAME TIME
I mean seriously, I would have held on way longer than any of the chicks there guranteed. This blatant rule breaking was out of control.
A vast amount of dildos as one would expect
oh yeah some hot chicks were too, but really didn't take many pics of them. Gotta take pics of the important stuff (i.e dildos, ANTONIO RAFAEL whose name will only be spelled in caps), but for those who do care:
I enjoy Hawaiian shirt's reaction.
even Randall used his charm on the gals.
Ah yes I got abunch of free shit there, a total worth of 5 hours on 3 different sites. I'm not going to be using these though I will probably give em away to one of my horndog friends only if they promise they start remembering the names of some of these girls. UNCLE LUKE was there too giving away free shit, got some kind of flag, about 18 Do Not Disturb GETTIN LAID signs for the door (if you want one ask me), along with possibly the ugliest visor I've ever seen.
 </br>
Circlejerkboys.com were handing out shirts too, but I really had no need for one.
Finally, on our way out I noticed one girl standing by herself. Let me take photos with hot babes and show em off on myspace and look super king kong bad. Yet, I felt bad for her since everybody was taking pics with the blonde and not this loser, so I was kind and curtious enough to pretend to be a fan. Like I said I just felt bad, I'm nice to losers all the time. I'm not made of stone people.
I'd also like to add that it's a damn shame we weren't able to get in contact with Nick because in all seriousness if there is anybody that I know that enjoys porn more than myself it's him. I tend to get angry at my friends when they don't remember the names of some of the porn stars that they do their "stuff" to. Nick, like myself knows the names of many many stars. Not you're basic ass Jenna Jameson or Tera Patrick. Talking about the independents who work their asses off on the sites like AssParade and FastTimesAtNaughtyUniversity. Sorry bud.
Also the following comments I can do without:
"BRO UR A FAG!"
"DID U POP A BONER"
" U SEEMED HAPPIER TAKING A PIC WITH THE DOOD"
"I bet you've sucked a dick at least once in your life Julio"
and anything else that doesn't involve high amounts of praise.
Readers of LiveJournal, this is truly the end and I leave you with this.
I hear Duck Tours is Quacktastic! eh? eh?? Bah! |
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| Recap |
[Jun. 10th, 2006|01:59 pm] |
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Only one more LJ entry will be posted and then I'm done with this. I won't give details on how I'm going out. Could be simple, could be super badical 2k6, I'm really not sure if you deserve something truly great. Just gotta wait it out.
<3 - Julio B.
For those that are waaay bored or have enough sense to know i'm super gnarly badical:
Recap of some of my favorite LJ entries from 03-05
(Me, Yandrey, and Bobby at the park)
Bobby: Check it out bitch, I found some socks.
Julio: Sweet. Let's fill them up with sand and throw them at someone when we leave.
(we get in Yandrey's car, see some ghetto kid)
::Bobby throws the first sock::
(miss)
The kid laughs, we go around again
Bobby: Socks come in pairs bitch!
(hits the kid right in the back)
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This is John Henson's latest commercial. If you consider it funny then you're a sorry sanctimonious son of a bitch who deserves to die.
"They've legalized marijuana for medical use, QUITE FRANKLY THIS MAKES ME SICK ::COUGH:: 420! ::COUGH:: ::WINK:: :: OBNOXIOUS SMILE ::"
For those not familiar with John Henson he has his own cheap version of the man show on Spike TV and it's the worst show I've ever watched.
Outkast sucks, in one of their videos they have light sabers and they're grabbing them by the freaking laser. Their hands should of been disintegrated. So yeah I'm not liking the way they moooove.
K, my dad and I had just moved in to a new house. We hadn't called bellsouth or a phone company but he still asked me to check if the phone would still work if we plug it in the jack and it worked. Yet, little did we know the lines were crossed. Later the phone rang, I picked it up and I hear two guys having a convo. I was like "hello" and they were able to hear me. So it was cool, I was basically fucking with them knowing they couldn't do a damn thing. Later this Rusty character tried calling his wife while I was on the phone with my boys from the MDT Nuch and Mark. Rusty kept telling us to hang up and we kept talking about very sick shit just to piss him off. So what did Rusty do? He put up loud music but we just ended up talking louder and later we stayed quiet and he tried dialing again. We just started laughing and he was furious. The next day one of his friends called asking for him and my dad told him Rusty is in jail. His friend was in shock, as my dad also told him that the FBI was listening in on all the conversations. Eventually, we got a bellsouth but not without making a few long distance phone calls and who would end up paying for it, hehe good ol' Rusty.
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(Me and Bert at a publix bathroom)
Me: Dude someone is taking a shit.
Guy in the stall: Ya damn right.
I just saw nipple and heard the word "pimp" on cnn.
Hazard Is God: Yea, Dan is all depressed for some reason even went as far as taking pills for it
TheEyebrow: His parents must've bought him a mirror.
- The hot dog bread to hot dog ratio in my house is atrocious.
- I made the class laugh today when Coach Stilldontknowhisnameyet asked us to turn off our cell phones and beepers. I said "ummm who still has beepers". Great reaction.
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Evi19enius: id say that it prob wont fit, and she'll ask "do you believe it'll fit on my wrist?" and ill say "yeah if the bracelet was an eight-year old boy and your wrist was my penis"
atribecalledjoey: are u in for the fantasy league?
Hail Brouwer: all my fantasies involve me in a bed of cash with gorgeous women.
GoldBondMafia: well, cool you'll be able to get over her easily if she doesn't like you.
Hail Brouwer: Word.....and if not i'll just stalk her
Hail Brouwer: you know, stalkers get a bad rap
Hail Brouwer: i prefer to look at it more as being her guardian angel
Me: Whats with all these tents?
Random Decent looking chick: Book fair.
Me: Should be some sweet rides this year.
RDLC: ....uh huh.
(9th grade italian class)
Luis: What do you prefer CDs or tapes?
Julio: Umm CDs.
Luis: CDs(see-deez) nuts.
Julio: Bahahaha.
Evi19enius: 9/11 wouldn't have been such a sad day if the towers were an 8 year old boy and the plane was my penis.
Julio: Went to a job fair today.
Danny: How was the cotton candy?
(me and daniel prank calling tito santana)
Me as the operator: You have a collect call from
Daniel: MARS!
Me: Would you like to accept the charges?
Tito: Yes, whose mark?
Daniel: MARS...the planet!
Tito: WELCOME TO EARTH! (Slams the phone down)
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Alright, for those that don't know my english class has some bs site where we get our assignments and we have a discussion board and a chat room. Our professor tells us to go try out the chat room. First thing I notice is there is a drawing board, for the purpose of drawing whatever. So I already know what anyone reading this or anyone in the class is thinking....when I saw the drawing board I knew someone had to draw IT..it was bound to happen.. someone was bound to do it, but I couldn't have it be me. So within 5 seconds, yes 5 seconds of being in that chat room someone draws a big ol schlong. 5 SECONDS! Took 5 seconds for someone to draw it, someone just couldn't resist
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I saw quite the character the other day. He looks incredibly rad. Imagine a guy wearing a suit and tie, with a cowboy hat, and a bed sheet around him like a cape. No fucking lie. One of the security guards asked him for his school id to see if he attends, the dude in the cape responds saying "But ofcourse" imagine that voice Chappelle does when he is acting civilized and mild mannered. So then this dude takes out his wallet to show the security his id. Except his wallet is made of paper and it takes him 3 minutes to find his id because he had many business cards id cards stored in his "wallet". The security asked him what was the deal with the bed sheet and this guy responds " I like to keep warm" Either way I'm going to make it a duty to get a picture taken with this guy.
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2006|08:39 pm] |
I lied. I'm not quite sure when my last entry will be, but when it does come it'll be HUGE!
If you've ever conversed with me there's been times where I ask questions, merely hypothetical ones such as "would you gargle diarreah for a cold hard million" Childish shit like that. Not too long ago I was telling Danny he could make an easy 20 if he just went up to a girl and said "yeah i got my ged recently.....my GETT ERRR DOOOOOONE" this purely off our hatred for blue colar tv; Danny boldly declined the easiest way to make $20 in his whole life.
This morning I was hanging out with Diego and Luciano. I saw a couple sitting close by and told Diego "five bucks if you say the blue colar ged line" He declined. Luciano then said he'd do it. He approached the couple and sat down next to them, interrupted their conversation and said "SOOOO YEAH.....GOT MY GED JUST THE OTHER DAY.....thats right my GET ERRR DOONE" he sat there, waited a few seconds for a reaction and left. It was pretty damn hysterical, but worth $5...it wasn't... at least from my broke perspective. He was kind enough though to decline, when he could've easily taken the COLD HARD CASH. Do you enjoy how I caps cold hard cash and sound like a character from Boy Meets World? I sure do.
Moral of the story, Luciano is a good man and he along with every friend I've asked so far would bang hulk hogan's wife (free of charge). |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2006|07:28 pm] |
Well, Dennis pretty much proved his point that the nick name of J man can't be mine in Miami. I can only be known as the J man to some of my friends in other states who probably call somebody else the J man behind my back. Even with other friends, Jonathan is the J-Man, but not even cause his name starts with a J, but cause of silly drug slang.
Change of pace though, in the past, I'd have to constantly remind people I'm not their savior nor hero. Now though I will have a tough time arguing them. It was a saturday hanging with a friend and as we were going down Biscayne we see a bus at a red light and where the numbers would be it instead had on the screen dealie " EMERGENCY CALL 9-1-1" I don't know if it was a hijacking or had any idea what was going on. The operator told me they were going to call transit to see what was up and then try to block it's path. The operator had heard nothing about the situation though, meaning I was the first to call. Meaning there's a strong sense of by stander apathy, to those that are dense it means many of you have this "oh somebody else will do it" lackadaisical attitude. In conclusion, I probably saved abunch of lives, go me.
BTW, I'm only going to post two more lj entries. I'm not getting the exposure I deserve. I'm not sure how i'm going to go out. I plan on making it big, so it might happen tomorrow or months from now. Who knows? I'll first do a recap post, then the actual last post. I don't think my lj is that great, only when it's compared to the majority of stuff out there it is. Some of my friends have good ones, occasional good story and nice to be able to keep up with their life without having to communicate with them in any sort of way. Some are just unbarable and I have to skip, those are the ones mostly about how drunk the person got the other night. I'll stop with the running down of others craptastic lj, this is about me. I'm going to have another project, maybe one with The Eyebrow or maybe outside the internet. Just as with fortune city, angel fire, geocities, now the final chapter will come for my lj. You're a sinking ship lj and in no time, the only reason people will post here is to show off some crap they found on youtube. Wait, not even, they use myspace for that. |
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| ay yo who slam harder? onyx or vince carter? |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|12:23 am] |
Guess nobody listens to Onyx. Anyways, I am such a nice guy. I laugh at jokes that aren't remotely funny and say hi to many nerds.
Sometimes though, I can still be nice to you, but if you're damn well annoying me everytime I sign on then there is a problemo. I've made it my own personal goal to avoid this chick. A rather annoying chick, right off the bat the dudes reading this know it can't be an attractive woman. An attractive woman can get away with all sorts of stupidty and I along with most men will deal. Yet when it's a pitbull (not the popular reggaeton artist who hails from the m-i-a) you want to throw it a bone and have it get away from you. Actually that's a horrible analogy and can be misread into boning her, which is the last thing I want to do. K stay on track J man, wait why doesn't anybody call me the J man? Like 2 people do it and the rest only do it when patronizing me. You know what, until I start getting called the J man genuinely you robots and fucks don't have access to my dimensia. You can read all the water down blogs and talk to big annoying goons who try waaaaay too hard to be comical. The type that have to laugh real hard at the end of their own jokes or say things REAL LOUD CAUSE IT MAKES THE JOKE THAT MUCH FUNNIER. Eeeep. I'm easy to get off track, but right now NOW I take a stand. Until I get more people genuinely calling me the J man or a painting of me in muppet form with Kermit and Gonzo (you can probably get one made a county fair if you show them my picture) I will no longer be around for your entertainment. I'm tired of the internet and I'm tired of you robots who follow my lead way too closely.
-The J man |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2006|09:02 pm] |
Gee wiz so some peeps think I'm an asshole. I see nothing wrong with it either. I often hear people ask "Why dooo you haaate me" I only hate 11 people in this world and some ignorant fuck thinks he/she is capable of that list. That just flat out upsets me. The EGO on some people. There's a difference between hate and not caring enough to converse with you about things I just don't care about. Sorry, but I like talking to intelligent people who get jokes like why didn't the melons get married (answer: cause they cantelope).
My friends know I bend over backwards for them and will go the extra mile for them. Even if it involves throwing a chicken wing at somebody's face from a moving car just for their amusement. I would do that just for them. Which brings me to another point, I really really really hope I didn't hurt that guy. The sound on that contact was brutal. At least I know it's impossible for me to take out both of his eyes, so if you see a guy walking down 8th street with an eye patch tell him I'm sorry. I'd make a song entitled " if you see a guy walking down 8th street with an eye patch tell him I'm sorry" if I had any musical talent.
For those reading this with the belief that I'm a jerk, well if you believe it then it's true. You talk about me behind my back, you give me a snide look like it's suppose to phase me, and some can't stand me to the point where you hack into my myspace. Fact is, I may not know the person by name, but I know them. I know they're my puppet (i'd say a muppet but muppets have character; puppets are just lifeless), they can't wang with it. Another fun fact I believe the song can't wang with it was about my hacker. How they can't wang with what I'm dishing. I'm dishing the anthems you sing, the catch phrases you steal, and the sandwiches that take a bite out of you.
" Oh don't poo-poo a nickel Lisa. A nickel can buy you a steak and kidney pie, cup of coffee, a slice of cheese cake and a newspaper reel with enough change left over to ride the trolley from the polo grounds to battery park." - C.M Burns |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2006|10:23 am] |
I usually oppose much that is popular amongst the masses like techvests back in 2000 or von dutch in 03 or ashton kutcher. I don't know why I have a nature of doing that, I don't think I'm special or far out for doing so. It might just have to do with the world having much lame in it. I have my exceptions like Justin Timberlake and Paris Hilton, both whom I find to be great people.
Regardless, many of the facts on the chuck norris thing are pretty funny. I'd just like to say though The Eyebrow was down with Norris since 1996. The man even has a poster of chuck norris and has had one in his room for 5 years now. What you're all witnessing is a craze started by somebody I'm proud to call my friend. He may have not made any lists or a lever that shows random clips from Walker, but he's been a long time follower of chuck. The man knows the lyrics to Walker, even bought that workout machine dealie and that's something most of you CLOWNS can't say.
TheEyebrow has all the proof in the world too, he still has his ticket from when he went to Survivor Series 1996 just to see Chuck Norris be the enforcer in the Undertaker Vs. Yokozuna match.
That's a pic from their first meeting 2 years ago.
I'd also like to bring up that it's possible that i've seen the movie If looks could kill more than anybody in the world. I know it's a bold statement but I remember seeing it a lot with my sister when I was younger (and getting scared out of my fucking mind that something like that could happen on a field trip), and seeing it at least twice every year by complete accident. I already came across it last night and I know it won't be the last time this year. For those that dont know, if looks could kill is a movie starring Richard Greico and I know it doesn't seem all that spectacular to see a movie so many times, but I don't own the vhs or dvd and I know I will never have to. If you read this entire deal, you're alright. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|08:16 pm] |
elhombre469: wow, away message and invisible god damn tony.
bigmoviefan123: listen, i got emails to read, myspace messages to respond to, newsletters to read, videos to view. i can only do that while chatting with 3 people, you and two other pals .. i got no time for fattys
"I wish there were pig-men. You get a few of those pig-men walking around, suddenly I'm looking a lot better. That way if someone wanted to fix me up they could say, 'Hey, at least he's no pig-man." - George C |
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| DONT PLAY WITH MY MYSPACE EMOTIONS |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|10:22 pm] |
Had to be me. It could only be me, cause no disrespect to my friends you haven't pissed off as many people as I have. Take that as a compliment though.
I've done quite a few misdeeds. I'm proud of most of them too. This isn't going to be post 32443254 of me bragging about some crap I pulled.
This time the crap was pulled on me. I could insult the person and call them an internet geek, but that wouldn't be fair I'd pull the same exact shit to them.
See what happened was somebody managed to "hack" in to my myspace account and "gayed" it up. Changed my information on it to make me look like a homosexual.
I'm not gay, nor is Tony F, nor is the Eyebrow, Kris Kidd is, but that's all irrelevant.
What this person did was...
A) Get under my skin
B) Made me punch a wall
C) Get me up the ranks with Paris Hilton and other mega stars that have been "hacked"
D) I don't care, I'm going to watch Goof Troop.
Answer:
C, this person just proved what I've been trying to say for some time. Remember when I said I'm a pretty big deal. There's your proof, I make an impact on peoples lives. I get them talking, I make people think. Alright, so I'm not a huge deal, but that's also irrelevant.
What is relevant though is this person made me amongst the elite, the elite I always said I was in, but nobody ever believed and quite franky nor did I; until now.
Bottom line, loose lips sink ships, my lips are sealed and this ship will continue sailing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|08:51 pm] |
Livejournal, looks like I kind of sold ya out for myspace there huh? Sorry amigo, sadly myspace has at least helped me get some dates and meet some hotties. You haven't really done a lot for me. Which explains the lack of updates.
New semester at Miami Dade. Classes seem alright so far.
I have one old dude in my social environment class. Sports these real short khakis, nowhere near knee level. That's fine though, I would single myself out even more so if I denied friendship on those whom commit fashion crimes.
Anyways, this old dude probably about 60 is kind of creepy. You know how some people are chocoholics? Well, he was an alcoholic. He always bothers this one girl who sits infront of him. When we were introducing ourselves the first person to go up was this chick, and after she was done introducing herself he threw in " and she has the most beautiful eyes" Come on buddy, you're not soaking any panties with those lines.
When it was his turn, he didn't say anything out of the ordinary until he threw in "oh and one of my favorite hobbies is chatting online". When you're saying stuff like that at his age only one thing is going to pop in my mind.
Besides that I've met some females and thats cool. We'll see how that goes, everything would be pretty radical if it wasn't for one little problem.
As most of you know I am a pro when it comes to getting out a stuck soda from the vending machines. No tools needed, just my bare effin hands. Anytime somebody's soda got stuck, i'd be there lurking waiting for them to give up, and when they would thats when I struck and I always succeeded (sans one time it was a V8 bottle and i tried for a second til i realized it was V8).
Now for the sole purpose of pissing me off someone put a stick there to help people get whatever stuck refreshment they have out of the vending machine(8/31/05):
See I don't dwell on shit like this. My time is too occupied dwelling on women I have no chance with, no way this broken in half broom handle can fit into the schedule, so fast forward to friday when I did what I had to do.
Hmmm where'd it go? Geee I wonder what happened to it? ;) it'd be a real shame if somehow somebody just ended up leaving it behind the machine. Oh well, not my fault peeps aren't as crafty with their hands as I am.
Oh and Alex Shelley took Steve Urkel off his myspace, the guy continues to prove my theory. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 17th, 2005|12:39 am] |
I don't know where to start.
Um my MV made AmDrag's site, so that's cool (90% of people reading this don't know what i'm talking about)
I think Tom Cruise is a little bitch for over reacting to a little water on him. God forbid Tom Cruise gets water on him, a liquid that evaporates quickly, doesn't stain, and that is actually all over the air we breath but in very small amounts.
Don't have anything else to really make mention of. I don't really like forced lj entries which is what this is.
My deepest go out to my close friend Tony for his recent loss. The guy is seriously like a brother to me and is one of the few true friends I have even though I never met him.
I plan to change LJ names, if you want to make 5 dollars then copy all my entries (individually) and post them (backdate of course) on my new lj. I haven't thought of the name yet, but shit I'm not Super Dragon Chris Lhyoins or Webster Dalfini never will be either of them. This was a more on the spot lj and I like how I progressively got pretty funny throughout time (not to toot my horn but come on i'm a riot).
What awaits ahead if J choose this road? Don't be afraid or there will be no road. Go on without hesitation and you will find your destination.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
You scored 75% wisdom, 42% aggression, 64% power, and 79% morality! |
| You are one of the wisest Jedi of them all, and have had a very eventful career full of failures and successes. You are a skilled fighter, having defeated many powerful opponents in your time. You are not overly aggressive, though. You are more reserved and collected. Your sense of morality is without question, and you are a model Jedi. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 64% on wisdom |
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You scored higher than 32% on aggression |
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You scored higher than 46% on power |
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You scored higher than 75% on morality |
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You are Kristen!
Which Laguna Beach Cast Member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which Mean Girls Character are you?
Find out at Toxxic.net
 |
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| Early Morning Chat with The Eyebrow |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|11:15 am] |
TheEyebrow: this sucks
Hail Brouwer: what happened
TheEyebrow: I whacked off too hard or violent or somethin some day
Hail Brouwer: and you got a small cut on your dick?
TheEyebrow: Ya
TheEyebrow: The skin's all torn and stuff
Hail Brouwer: i've gotten those before too
TheEyebrow: And is trying to heal
TheEyebrow: And I hate having to let it heal
Hail Brouwer: it sucks cause when you jack it and reopens the cut
TheEyebrow: yup!
Hail Brouwer: its hurts while you're jacking it too
TheEyebrow: Yup
TheEyebrow: It's a lose lose
Hail Brouwer: seriously
TheEyebrow: If you whack it, the wound gets aggravated
TheEyebrow: If youdont whack it, you get aggravated
Hail Brouwer: haha i feel for ya man
Hail Brouwer: i tried trimming my pubes recently with a shaving blade and they were all uneven, like bald patches and shit
Hail Brouwer: it jsut looked awful
TheEyebrow: yea
TheEyebrow: that happens
TheEyebrow: trimming pubes is really an artform
TheEyebrow: dude whoa
TheEyebrow: just gave me an idea
TheEyebrow: we should learn how to cut like banzai trees
Hail Brouwer: bahahahaha
TheEyebrow: and then use that technique on our pubes
TheEyebrow: we could make it look like a tiger or somethin
TheEyebrow: it'd be fierce |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 29th, 2005|12:19 am] |
Well, I finally saw this Paris Hilton burger commercial for Hardee's and all I have to honestly say is just WOW... I've never seen a girl do such an awful job at washing a car as Paris does in this commercial. For those who haven't seen it yet, click on the link underneath.
http://www.spicyparis.com/paris.html
Much thanks goes to Randall Louis for informing me about this Paris Hilton Hardee's BBQ Burger commercial, CUZ IT GAVE ME A HARDEE LOLOLOLOL.. yeah it's saturday night and I'm home, but it's all good cause I got ROH. |
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| I'm not a hipster doofus, am I? |
[May. 23rd, 2005|08:31 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Lindsay Lohan- Magnet | ] |
I don't like to update this with useless information on what I've done throughout the week unless it's something real good. Sorry, I just hate play by play of people's days on LJ (I.E I woke up at 9am, went to class, it was boring, got out of class, took a shit, saw Mike, chilled with him, went home and now I'm on cyberspace aka the super info highway). I also don't like using my "mood icon" just cause the guy looks like he has a dicknose and all the other ones LJ offers are really homoerotic. I don't complain a lot, do I?
Anyways, nothing note worthy throughout the week with the exception of seeing Star Wars. (Thanks again for the ticket Geo) It was opening night and people were there since 9am, (keep in mind the movie starts at midnight) Geo luckily got there at 2 I believe and I got there at 4 to meet up with him, Theresa, and this dude (Jairo, I think). Whatev they were good peeps. We had to wait until 7 just to be let inside the theatre and we still had to kill 5 hours for the movie to start. After this chick dressed as an Admiral stopped bothering us, we decided to yell random names in the theatre to see who would look back. Geo wasn't too into this at all (sorry), but Theresa got into it even wrote down a list of the names of people who looked back.
This is when the story picks up, we got around 12 names. Mainly this dude Joe, who was sitting next to someone named Andy for awhile, so we'd yell real obnoxious shit like "Hey joe going to give andy a rimjob", both them started to look around. Pretty much for 3 hours we fucked with Joe, making fun of his jacket, making fun of him during a lightsaber battle, and the guy was fucking paranoid. He had no idea who was calling his name. The movie was real good btw, so eventually when the movie started we stopped with the harassing. Then, at the end of the night, Geo was driving, and we see Joe and a group of his goons walking to their car, so I yelled something around the lines of "I'm going to beat your ass at school tomorrow Joe" he still couldn't see me at all. Yes, I do find this as an accomplishment bothering a guy for hours throughout the night and with him having no idea to who is insulting him. Overall one of the better times I've had out in a long time.
RIP Owen Hart, it's been six years, but you'll always be remembered. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 20th, 2005|03:34 pm] |
what the fuck did lindsay lohan do to herself |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2005|01:49 pm] |
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Call me crazy, but I liked Captain Polution more than Captain Planet...I know, I know, could I be anymore outrageous? |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2005|12:17 pm] |
Well, I got a real hot girl's number the other day, no lie. Now if she's willing to break a few eggs on my chest, slap me a few times in the face, and drag me across the kitchen floor we may have a match. Crap she reads this, I'll stop here.
Oh and if this is the person with the Screen Name "OrionLuc", you just got busted goon. I have an lj tracker, so I'd appreciate it if you reaveled yourself por favor.
Edit: A quote from Danny, "Man I can't even jack off to amanda bynes i just remember the little girl from All That and all the other shit she did and I just can't" |
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| Punk Chat 2!!!! |
[Apr. 22nd, 2005|10:16 pm] |
SecretNameToAvoidmy"friends"thatIsecretlyhate: Hey man I want to apologize.
CM Punk: ??
SNTAMFTISH: phil right?
CM Punk:??
SNTAMFTISH: I had this dream with tracy (punker's girl), where she had me tied up in a dungeon
SNTAMFTISH: i wont go into extreme details, but hot candle wax, whips, and other sado masochistic toys were involved
SNTAMFTISH: oh i was wearing a gag too
SNTAMFTISH: i just felt real bad and felt i needed to apologize to you
CM Punk: If I were you i'd hope to god i dont run into your mark ass
SNTAMFTISH: yes i am very well aware of your history of attacking fans
CM Punk: yeah and i'd also eat your dog too.
SNTAMFTISH: !!!
SNTAMFTISH: screw you, someone is just jealous cause you realize i'm a real man and that i can fulfill all of tracy's needs
SNTAMFTISH: while you're just some fake straight edger who is irritated by the fact that he cant wash off his shitty looking tattoos
(Blocked)
I'm shocked I got a rise out of him, usually I get blocked within seconds. I was trying to be the bigger man, but Punk or phil or chad or whatever the fuck he calls himself couldn't be a bigger man. Mark it down 4/22/05 the day that marks Punk's undoing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|09:40 am] |
Bobby (Nuch) told me a story not too long ago about his days in Edison High. Told me one time he went to the bathroom and saw a horrid sight. The way he described it was perfect though, I can really envision everything well. He told me about how he opened the door to the bathroom and saw shit on the floor, glops of shit on the toilet seat, some shit inside the toilet, a pair of underwear to go along with the shit in the toilet, and a pair of pants left hanging on the stall.
My question is, how the fuck could that happen? Did this person try running to the bathroom, but couldnt make it to the toilet in time, slipped on the bathroom floor and shit himself? How does something like that happen? He couldn't have just shit himself and then have gone to the bathroom to clean up.
Also, what did he wear afterwards? His pants were left hanging and underwear left in the toilet. Did he make a mad naked dash home? I'm assuming he had some sort of gym shorts, but even if thats the case he'd have been free balling all day which is not something you really want to do, then again nor is shitting in your pants.
Thoughts? Assumptions? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|09:33 am] |
I've been told that I just post abunch of nonsense here. That I never post anything of any serious importance. Well, that's just all wrong, my friend and I were having a very intellectual conversation about Terri Schiavo.
Evi19enius: the only way i'd put the feeding tube back in is if she was an eight year old boy and the tube was my penis
Oh and people say it sucks to be her, well it does, but it must've sucked worse (and bert can back me up on this) to be the first storm trooper to bust through that door in the very first scene of A New Hope, I mean what are the chances that you're going to be the very first one in to a ship with abunch of dudes pointing blasters and not die. Pretty slim chances. |
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